The Fools are coming for us all! - The Chaff with Scott Stephenson
Oh, you thought you were safe. You thought, perhaps, that the long winter had dulled their senses, that the frost had stilled their wretched hands. That the Fools had, at last, been vanquished. But we regret to inform you: the Fools are gathering.
April 1 approaches. A date so innocuous in appearance, so innocent on the calendar, and yet, history tells us otherwise. We have seen the warnings. We have felt the consequences. We have studied the patterns. And yet, every year, despite our best precautions, they strike.
Perhaps you are new to this. Perhaps you believe you are immune. Perhaps you think that the true threat lies elsewhere - somewhere tangible, somewhere reasonable. And perhaps, just perhaps, that is exactly what they want you to think.
We urge you to take this seriously. Do not be lulled into complacency by whispers of “harmless fun” or “lighthearted gags.” These are the words of the Fools themselves. The disinformation campaign is already well underway. Even now, reports are coming in of misplaced trust, of unsuspecting citizens led astray by a well-timed smirk or a suspiciously casual, “Hey, look over there.”
Think of last year. Think of the friend, the neighbour, the loved one who was taken in by the trickery, the deception, the unspeakable tomfoolery. Think of their faces when they realized - too late - what had happened. It is always too late. You cannot undo the past. You cannot go back and un-fall for it. The stain of Foolery lingers long after the act is done.
Some will tell you there is no cause for alarm. That this happens every year. That no real harm is done. To them, we say: open your eyes. Have you already forgotten the devastation of last year? The confusion? The shattered reputations? The e-mails sent in haste, never to be unsent? The announcements made in error, never to be believed again? The great and terrible loss of credibility? They want you to forget. They want you unprepared. That is their way.
And they are evolving. No longer satisfied with their crude pranks of old, the Fools have grown more sophisticated. The false announcements, the fabricated crises, the elaborate hoaxes - it is all a game to them. But to us? It is war. They have their tactics. We must have ours.
They have become emboldened. No longer do they rely on the old tricks: rubber spiders, whoopee cushions, cups of water left precariously atop half-open doors. Those were the work of amateurs. The modern Fool is a master of psychological warfare. They plant seeds of doubt. They orchestrate confusion. They engineer chaos. And by the time you realize you have been deceived, it is already too late.
You may think yourself too smart to fall for their games. You are not. None of us are. For every moment of caution, there is a moment of weakness. A phone notification, seemingly from a trusted source. A news headline too absurd to be true, and yet, in this world, still possible. A friend, a loved one, delivering the deception with such sincerity, such earnestness, that you have no choice but to believe. And then, the laughter. The revelation. The shame.
Do not fall for the false sense of security. April 1 does not merely last for 24 hours. No. The damage lingers, stretching into April 2, April 3, beyond. The embarrassment, the regret, the knowledge that, for one fleeting moment, you were one of them - it haunts you. It changes you. It makes you second-guess everything.
And that is exactly what they want.
Some believe we should fight back. That we should play the game ourselves. That by preemptively pranking, we rob them of their power. But this is dangerous thinking. This is how it spreads. The Foolery infects the mind. One harmless joke today, and by next year, you are one of them. A prankster. A deceiver. Another cog in their endless, laughing machine.
No, the only path is resistance. Not participation, but vigilance. We must steel ourselves. We must remain steadfast. We must be ready. April 1 is no longer a day; it is a battleground. A test of our resolve. A measure of our awareness.
Prepare yourselves. We will not tell you how best to do this, for fear the Fools are reading. But do something. Heighten your awareness. Strengthen your resolve. Trust no one. If something seems off, assume the worst. If you hear a claim that sounds too outlandish to be true, do not believe it. If you hear a claim that sounds too normal to be false, do not believe it. The Fools
are cunning. They know what they are doing.
And if you think, even for a moment, that you are safe - that the threat is exaggerated, that this is all some kind of joke - then, you have already lost.
Do not be fooled.
We will see you on the other side. If you make it.